Three years after joining TCI after a breakdown and redundancy, Kylie Hancox has a string of businesses: "They give me the ability to do what I do and live the way I live."
As well as being a successful coach, Brisbane’s Kylie Hancox has a flourishing side hustle as a celebrant at namings, weddings and funerals. Kylie calls it her “heart space work” which taps into her deep personal experience in both love and grief.
On the love side of the ledger: a 25-year marriage to Telstra technician Owen Hancox. The pair met on a NSW beach when Kylie was six and went on their first date just before she turned sixteen.
On the grief side: seven miscarriages, including three in three years. The last saw Kylie “throw myself into work” to whitewash the pain before having a breakdown and being made redundant from a full-tilt corporate role.
“I wanted to go sit on a beach and take some time out for a few months, decompress, then go back to Corporate Land,” Kylie recalls. “The mask was firmly in place. Who I was was pretty lost, very one dimensional.
“Then TCI popped up on Facebook and I thought, ‘That sounds interesting’ … and my entire world changed.”
Signing up for a three-day event with head trainer Matt Lavars was “easy as,” says Kylie. “Turning up was fascinating. Then I had an anxiety attack driving in on the Sunday. I could feel how much it mattered. I knew I was at a pivotal point.”
She remembers what she felt and thought the moment she signed up: “I went, ‘this is my future’. If I were to give it one word, I would call it becoming. I was becoming the person I was meant to be.
“It was terrifying and also the most wonderful thing.”
Three years on and in a COVID world, Kylie it at two-thirds capacity in her business Hancox Coaching and Consulting Group, and has big five-year dreams.
“I am so happy,” she says. “The passion and purpose has driven me forward every time I’ve fallen to my knees. It’s awesome.”
“There’s so much support at TCI, such an incredible community and so so many resources. The world of TCI is so rich in resources and if there isn’t a resource the team will create it in a heartbeat. Ask the question and most of the time they can mind-read exactly what it is we need."
Where are you at on your coaching journey?
I am full-time in my coaching business. I love what I do, which is human behaviour, mindset and leadership. I help small business owners to discover what they are really passionate about. I’ve recently redone my business model and am building a website. I’ve recognised the people I truly can add value to are in the area of profession and executive coaching and now I'm focussing on that niche.
What are you looking forward to next?
The lessons from coronavirus and its impact on the world have been pivotal in my business. They made me recognise the importance of the one-to-many aspects of coaching and program wise I will be looking at introducing that on a much broader scale.
What’s this done for your lifestyle?
Three years ago I was an employee and never ever did I think I would be a business owner. It took me twelve months to relate to the words ‘business owner’. Now I have three businesses and they all work beautifully together. They give me the ability do what I do and live the way I live.
What challenged and surprised you most about TCI?
For me, it was the commitment to following structure, and I was the rebel who went, ‘I know they are telling me this but I am still going to try it my way’. It delayed everything. By about two years. It was the most inelegant form of procrastination ever.
How did it live up to or exceed expectations?
Absolutely without question everything, and I mean everything, that we need is there at TCI. There’s others out there with the brighter, shinier thing but it really does all exist within TCI.
“TCI is not about giving you freedom. There’s constant hard years and work to do. There’s also flexibility to live in a way that is location independent. It doesn’t matter where as long as there’s an internet connection. I can be home with my husband, creating a life that is up-levelled in most aspects to what it was in corporate life."
Tell us a bit more about where you were at when you joined?
Working in corporate, I was so tired without recognising it. The vehicle of my life was my job. When I wasn’t able to successfully hold a pregnancy it felt like I was a failure as a woman and I threw myself into work because I could control that. And unsurprisingly, being made redundant, I lost my entire identity. I didn’t know better than being an employee … but I knew I had to create something that was congruent for me.
How have you transformed personally after that?
TCI helped me through. I finally realised at my deepest darkest core that I thought I was pure evil. I hated myself. In my mind I was telling myself I'd protect my children from anything. Sadly, I couldn't protect them from my own body. The first thing we learn through TCI is the awareness and the second thing is being able to use that awareness to pull back the layers of self to get to it and suddenly deep down you know what it is. From the moment I spoke it aloud, what I thought was my truth was no longer my truth.
Your most successful marketing strategy?
Word of mouth, referrals. For the first couple of years I have to say it was a hobby that I had a little bit of income from and was learning. I did my first 120 hours pro bono because I wanted to be sure I could do it, and now there is a commercial reality, there is a business there.
Advice for other TCI coaches?
Do the work, listen, turn up even when you don’t understand it. And as we all say, read the fucking manual!
Where do you see yourself in five years?
2025— I am totally rocking it as an international facilitator and speaker, and I'm a published author with five best-selling books. I work with a select number of amazing clients one-to-one and am running one-to-many programs.
Liberated from corporate life, Kylie has since gone deep into personal development and growth, and now has coaching and celebrant businesses. She loves travel and her “fluffy kids”—birds—and her secret talent is "really bad interpretive dance". She cannot wink, mixes up proverbs and is “quirky and original. I love life and telling people's stories.”
How to tell if you’re a grown up